RD4

                                    All American Boy

 

           

            John is making progress. Today, he has eaten one whole apple. He spends most nights alone in his room, imagining the feasts he would eat if only he could. George is an all-star athlete, and has been since age five; he plays rugby and chases after girls. He weighs a healthy 180 lbs.  Occasionally, George will pose for the school’s calendar – he sports a well-defined six-pack. George tried out for the wrestling team last week. It was the first time he had ever fasted. He fasts once a week. Once, during his fast, he put a piece of chocolate in his mouth, savored it, and then quickly spit it back out. Anorexia does not only affect women. [Thesis]

 

            John’s liver is failing him. At 6’3 he weighs 115 Ibs – this is the average weight of a woman standing at 5’2.  John’s journal reads, “Fat is your enemy. Don’t let it take control. Food is TOXIC.” He repeats this passage in his head until his inner voice overcomes the sound of his stomach’s grumbling - the journal tightly clenched underneath his frail arms, now, not so much arms as they are skin and brittle bone.

            George is running twice a day now. He wakes up most mornings at 3 a.m. and has learned to control his appetite by aggressively brushing his tongue until the taste of food is smothered by the taste of his own blood. He consumes only 500 calories a day. Lunch consists of two chicken breasts and dinner is a lean cuisine. George has made the wrestling team. He is determined to maintain his weight class. He offers an inordinate amount of energy to defeating fellow schoolmate, Brian, who stands at 5’11 weighing 144 lbs. George has become accustomed to winning - and with that idea he rewards himself with thoughts of Jenna and her skin tight jeans.

            John’s hair has begun to wither and is falling out. He noticed it one morning on his way to school. John was making his way to the back of the bus as he usually does when he discovered a trail of hair along the aisle after he sat but said nothing. He sits with eyes dimly lit and his mind wonders. A long time ago, it seems, he had a close group of friends. Occasionally, they pass each other in the halls but they only see his pale skin and stare at his nervous hands. He avoids them, and comes home to an empty home. There is nothing for him to find when he arrives at his home, so he finds comfort in being alone. 

          The first match of the season gives George his anticipated and hard earned victory. He is celebrated by his teammates as they carry him through the gym like an emperor. It seems a throng of young girls have gathered to congratulate him; Jenna, has become somewhat infatuated with George. He finds her sitting at the bleachers during his practice. She stares admiringly at him, she laughs coyly and her eyes invite him over. George is suddenly aware that his weight loss is inarguably making him feel attractive, faster, and stronger. 

John has been hospitalized. His doctor is talking to his father; John can barely hear and cannot speak. He is being fed through a tube. He has only seconds of clarity, John is heavily sedated. His father is very old-fashioned, he has never heard of what this doctor is explaining is his son's condition. "Twenty-five percent of males are now diagnosed as having Anorexia Nervosa. Mr. Dunne, if your son refuses the treatment, the likelihood that this fatal mental illness will take its course is almost certain," "Well, how long do you give 'em?" "It is hard to say, but my medical opinion is one month."         

George and Jenna have been dating for three weeks now and they are inseparable. Jenna worries that George does not eat as much as most boys in her class, but she does not bring this concern to George's attention for fear of disappointing him. He is afraid to tell her the truth about his eating habits. He begins to find food repulsive and Jenna is beginning to take notice of this. George is not running as often as he used to and soon enough, his wrestling Coach starts to notice as well. "I want you to understand something now George, fasting is one thing. We fast before a game as a group to cleanse our bodies and clear our minds for a day or two and then begin a regimented diet. But what you're doing is going to cost you. Its gonna cost you a lot. Men lose muscle when they starve themselves. Get it? You can't be on my team if you got an eating disorder." 

         John's liver is failing; his skin has become jaundiced and his hands are now a bluish green. His father's visits are less frequent; his attitude towards his son's condition is disturbingly apathetic. John's father tells the school that his son has contracted the flu and is home, bed-ridden. No one knows the truth. John's journal sits at home, pleading to be read. 

        Jenna has distanced herself from George; her friends call George a freak. George avoids all situations that might lead him to eat. His eating habits are now precarious; he counts five pieces of cornflakes and a fourth of an apple. He searches the internet for tips on how to conceal his illness. George attempts to recover his relationship and promises Jenna that nothing is wrong, "I just need to keep my weight class," "I don't have an eating disorder. I'm not a chick." He even takes her out to eat. Their plates arrive, George confidently takes a bite. He feels he has no choice. George excuses himself; as he walks to the bathroom, he starts to cry. He feels disgusted and angry. 

   John is dead. No one was there to see him die. His father is secretly ashamed. He coldly wraps his son's hands together in prayer form as he recites an, 'Our Father.' His father drives home; he feels his eyes begin to water but suppresses his reactions. He curiously steps into John's room. John's journal is full. The past three years of John's life are documented in his Journal.