What if this is as good as it gets?

Jennifer Lett
FD5
12/11/09




When I was ten years old I spent an entire summer in my room in front of my t.v. - alone - for ninety-eight days and ninety-nine nights all I did was watch and re-watch all of my favorite films. One film in particular, "As Good as it Gets" spent the longest time in my vcr. It couldn't have made much sense to me as a ten year old child but I watched it. I watched it while I brushed my teeth in the morning and as I got ready for the day. I would watch it while I ate. What does a ten year old girl know about social anxiety or obsessive compulsive disorder? What does a ten year old child know about the trials and tribulations of life which lead people to premature insanity and settling for a relationship which they know is destined for failure? According to my mom, "Ju don't even know how to wipe jor ass." I seriously doubt it mom.

However, I do believe that this movie served a useful purpose in my life; thanks to this movie, I now know that people who have O.C.D. typically tend to distrust others' abilities to clean silverware thoroughly. I also learned that maniacal older men can win the affection of sexy and overworked women easily, as long as the woman in question is vulnerable and the man in question pays her a compliment on occasion as well as her son's medical bills. In fact, I learned about the dynamics of complicated relationships through this movie and If I am to make a valid assesment of the influences in my childhood that are still a part of my life 'as an adult', I would have to acknowledge that watching film and studying people has and will always be a part of my life.


When I was twenty-one, I went to India, I found myself surrounded by people who I couldn't sit and have meaningless idle chit chat with - for the most part, we didn't speak the same language. I had to figure out what to do with the silence. I could participate in life through observation. That is the feeling that I experience when I watch a really great film. I felt the same way when I saw the Curious Case of Benjamin Button. This film is set in New Orleans during the early 1900's. I felt connected to a place that no longer existed. I existed in this time and participated through laughter and tears, in much the same way that an audience observing a play might. It is a wonderful film about a boy who is aging backwards; he is born a sickly, rather ugly old man. The movie is three hours long, as I watched it, I felt myself age.


This film is many things to many people. I felt the movie was about love; a mother's love, a father's love, a husband's love, and a man's love, abandonment, heart break, love lost, and fantasy. I could literally pause or fast-forward all of the painful experiences of life which are quite frankly drawn out, repetitive, and sometimes a bit boring and still understand human nature just by watching a great film like Benjamin Button. And yes, perhaps to someone else this movie was not about love, maybe it was about struggle or about independence. It could have been about loss. Perhaps, the movie, the Curious Case Benjamin Button was about family or maybe it is just an old tale about old people. That is the beauty of film. Like Theatre, film has evolved from story-telling. Film can offer catharsis or a feeling of emotional cleansing to anyone; a muti-cultural therapeutic tool. The same kind of release we can feel from a warm hug. Films offer us a chance to spend time with ourselves, the unadulterated version of ourselves - no pretensions. If we sit and analyze, observe or 'watch a person long enough, we discover their humanity.' But, what we are really discovering, is our own humanity. I'm certain that soon enough, when I begin the semester at Miami International University of Art that I will keep this in mind. I will remember that every moment is as good as it gets and that every second of life is precious, while we are dying someone is living and while we are being someone is watching. My real story isn't special. I am not special. I am just like everyone else.

All that separates me from almost everyone else is one vital piece of information - I understand that success in life-- be it happiness, academic achievement, money, or family requires me to see what is really there, take what I see that is really there and make it so much brighter than it is. With a sense of urgeny, I have been cultivating that passion since I was ten.